Wifely Duty....the rest of the story

I finished chapter two this morning at 4 am.....

You know, I'm all for equality, women's rights and such but she does make a good point when she says that we have almost lost ourselves as women. That we are overworked now that we are working outside the home and trying to keep things going within the home. Trying to keep our kids busy with outside activities, feed, clothe, shop for them and then you have that pesky thing called a husband who sometimes wants to help but just doesn't understand how. Don't get me wrong, I adore my husband but come on, can you not see the dirty clothes you just stepped out of and take them to the laundry room!?!?!?!?

Think back, family vacations meant mom and dad went away for a week and the kids got to stay with the grandparents. Everyone had a great time and life was good! Now take a look at television and you will see where the advertisements lead. You MUST take this or that trip to make you child a happy, well adjusted adult. Forget the fact that you can't financially make it work or that you will be spending a week with the family in a small motel room. The important fact is that you can tell everyone where you took your kids on vacation when we all can see by the look on your face that you are so happy to be back at work you could just scream!!

Well, this summer, my husband and I are going to do the old fashioned vacation. One cruise, two adults, no kids!!! We are so looking forward to it!

The Wifely Duty

Well, chapter two is proving to be just as enlightening as chapter one.

This chapter is dealing with our "duty" to provide sexual antics for our husbands. The author quotes statistics that prove less married couples have sex now than 30 years ago before the "sexual revolution" which she believes has made us not more sexual just more exhausted from the empowerment that working and providing equally with men! She compared our lives of running to those of June Cleaver and Lucy.....

A therapist that Caitlin spoke with said that she told women in her counseling group to make it a point to initiate sex with their husbands instead of waiting for him or succumbing to the desire to sleep. All of the women reported that they were much happier in their marriage and felt better.

I was only able to read half of the chapter due to life and interruptions so I'll let you know tomorrow what else she says. Should be rather comically as I can remember a little of the hippie days when love was "free" and women were fighting for the right to go out into the world and work along with being at home and working too!!!

To Hell With All That

Well, I've started a new book called "To Hell With All That, Loving and Loathing Our Inner Housewife" by Caitlin Flanagan. I admit the title caught my eye but the price swayed me into buying it....$3 at Big Lots on sale for $2. I figured if it's really bad I'm only out a couple of bucks. Anyway the first chapter is title Virgin Bride. Caitlin is not opposed to marriage or womens rights but she is thinking that with our new found freedoms as women, we are starting to relish the past more such as the white wedding. Her writing is comical in that she proposes that it's rather absurd that brides now are looking for the perfect wedding with the white dress which would indicate a pure woman when in fact we have gone through a sexual revolution where it is pretty much unheard of to be a virgin. Have you watched "Say Yes to the Dress"? What is up with a $5000 dress. Crap, whats up with a dress over $500! Mine cost less than that and worked just great. We've been married 25 years so either he REALLY liked the dress or he wasn't lying when he said he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. She makes fun of the bride who spends half a years salary on a five hour party and points out that weddings, like Christmas and every other holiday, have become commercialized and big business! What she says is relevant in that my daughter is of marrying age and I have one going in that direction. Luckily both have said they want beach weddings. I was one who had a big wedding but not one who relishes the thought of planning one for my daughters. Call me a bad mother but get real, I'm watching two of my friends going through it now and it ain't pretty from my vantage point. Anyway, I'm anxious to continue my reading. The table of contents at least promises more comic relief!

Speaking of weddings, the two I referred to earlier. One is an only child whose parents have been looking forward to this day for many years. The wedding will be a beautiful one with nothing held back. The reception is at the parents home which was built in the 1800's and has been restored with a beautiful yard which will be decked out. The other is from a divorced family, nothing wrong with that but mom really can't afford an expensive wedding. This one will be smaller than the first but no less pricey as the bride wants it all. Again, I'm a bad mother but I hope I have the guts to put my foot down at some point.

Another thought, why do we watch a show about four brides rating each others wedding! It's the bride and grooms special day so who cares what other people think. If a bride wants to serve pizza at her wedding (they didn't give her a good rating for that) then she should be able to! What we do to please others!

Well, gotta go satisfy my inner housewife and warm up leftovers!

It's all about me.

Well, last I spoke about my past I believe I left you wondering why you should read this. I left off with my first year of marriage antics....well, not all of them but that is a private matter!

After three years of marriage we were blessed with our first daughter. Ashley seemed so normal but at six months we found out that she had a hole in her heart an inch in diameter and at nine months she had open heart surgery and went from 15 lbs to 18 lbs within a month!

Life was good for the three of us. Scott worked in Hot Springs so every Sat Ashley and I would load up and go over to see him. We would take off on our adventure and we found the most interesting places! There were a few times she was worried we would get lost so I bought a map. It seemed to make her feel better when I "looked" at the map! So gullible!

More at another time!

2nd Graders Can Wear You OUT!!

Well, I spent the day with a class of second graders touring the university campus and doing activities. We started with a college student demonstrating how to incorporate music into the classroom so we were singing, dancing and playing instruments. From there we went to the quad, a grassy area to hunt multicolored eggs, make a graph with them and discuss how animals protect themselves by through camo, then to visit Rowandan students, lunch, campus tour and finally to the aviation building and the flight simulators. It was a great day but I'm wiped out!! I remember doing this last year but I'm a year older now!

For those of you wondering, I know you've been sitting on pins and needles, my daughter and the boyfriend are together so life is all spiffy and happy now.

I just got a text from my 16 year old who is driving her sister's used honda which is in great shape but her text had a picture of a yellow mustang....."notice the sign in the window". Yeah, it's for sale! Like I'm buying that!!

Thanks for stopping by!

Kids in Crisis!

Well, I found out this weekend that my oldest daughter and her boyfriend have broken up after 2 1/2 years. This is going to be very hard for her as she was so in love with not only him but his son. She has yet to tell me anything which worries me. I hate when they don't talk. I don't need the details just that she is alright. She has assured me that she is fine but I haven't seen her with my own two eyes so I'm not convinced. You moms understand that frustration.

My 16 year old is mobile and I never see her anymore. I actually miss her but do enjoy my quiet times. Scott is pulling a 24 hour shift on the ambulance so it's me, two cats and a dog at home this afternoon.

As I sit here in my den, I am watching the sun slowly set over the treetops without the barrier of a yellow/green cloud of pollen between us. Sounds relaxing and is until I also notice that the slant of the sun's rays highlight the yellow/green tint on my tables!! So much for enjoying a sunset.

Good Thing I Still Like My Husband!

I have always heard you have to like your husband as much as you love him. I understand that now that our 16 year old is gone all the time. I was worried we wouldn't have anything to talk about but he has truly become more active. I never thought he would take walks with me, jump in the car and go for a ride, or just goof around but age makes you more accessible. We aren't as worried about "looks" or what others think but are using our home time to enjoy each other more. We have spent more time together in the last two years than we have in the previous 23 years. I'm really loving it!

What's wrong with a little honesty?

Well here I sit trying to keep the dog from chewing on me. I have fallen in love with her but really, we are so close to the empty nest and now we have a puppy for the next 15 years!

My question to myself today is when did it become a bad thing to be honest with your children? I remember growing up and not everyone made the team, if you weren't cut out for something you were told to find a new hobby, and you didn't get a trophy for coming in last place. I don't have a problem with encouraging a person realistic dreams but when you know that they won't succeed, don't you think it's better just to tell them? Maybe it's my age but I'm getting to the point where I don't feel the need to spare feelings as much. I'm going to be a cantankerous old woman someday, probably sooner than later!!

Do I look like I care??!!

Now that my children are older, we have less drama in the house as would be expected. EXCEPT I now have the drama of my college students! I've listened to stories of breakups, new significant others, who cheated on whom, divorces. I had one stick his head in today and tell me his old girlfriend told him she loves him and he's very confused....he's coming back after class to tell me the whole story. I'll tell you tomorrow what he says!

Don't get me wrong, I love these kids but sometimes they can give me too much information!

What makes me so special?

What makes me so special? Why should you read this blog?

Well, I've been married 25 years this July, been teaching for 25 years, have two daughters and multiple pets. I've also had some interesting life experiences. Maybe something I've experienced will help you in your life.

History Lesson:
Married in July of 1985 to Scott. Our first house was one block from a university and fraternity row. Needless to say, we had some interesting early morning activity outside our house. One night there was a party and sometime after midnight, we were awakened by voices. We looked out the front window and sitting with their backs against an oak tree on opposite sides of the tree were tow girls....crying! They were past the giggly drunk and had moved on to the "I'm sorry, I love you" drunk. Seems they had had a fight at some point and now were best friends again! Life was so easy back then.

Our neighbor during that first year was and still is a paranoid schizophrenic who burned himself up sniffing paint. He made for some interesting conversation as well. Scott was cooking burgers out on the grill one night and David walks down the sidewalk, up the driveway holding two pieces of bread. Scott jumped up and ran out to stop him. "I came to get my burger"! Now, this man was in his mid 20's at the time, talked to himself all the time and only wore pants, never a shirt or shoes. We never get much snow here but that year we got about an inch and we noticed David walking down the street in his usual attire with a bald head. I guess his head got too hot with hair!

That same year we also put in a wood burning stove. Scott decided that we would put a rock backing on the wall so we went out and hand picked every rock. Now my husband is a wonderful man and is very handy but it takes him a while to complete a project. With that in mind, picture a wheelbarrow in a den about 12 x 16 filled with grout. That is what my den looked like for about a month. Oh, I forgot about the teaspoon he used from the kitchen to apply the grout!! It looked great when it was finally done. Anyway, we had a chimney fire that winter. Scott was laying on the sofa watching tv and I was in the bedroom. I walked into the den and noticed the smoke at which point I ran to the closet and began to lug as many pieces of clothing as possible into my car. I made three trips before the fire department got there at which point I moved my car across the street to our neighbors driveway. Hey, my house may be on fire but I was going to have my clothes!!!

And then there was the time my friend and I were sitting on the front porch when David exposed himself to us. Every police officer in town ended up at our house. Can you believe we actually lived in that house only one year!

Well, enough of that for tonight. Thanks for stopping by! :)

Who is Training Whom???

Well, the dog knows what to do when she goes outside but I'm wondering if I trained her or she has trained me??? If I'm the one who is trained why don't I get the treat?

Well, it's finally Friday---I'm actually getting ready for going back to a routine. I admire stay at home moms!!

Awkward situation! My daughter told me that one of her friends is expecting at the ripe old age of 15. The girl was here today and she doesn't know that I know and it was uncomfortable. My daughter is talking with her about adoption but she thinks she can raise the baby. What a mess!

Been sitting in front of the fire scoring lesson plans. Just when you think they have it, they lose it! Hard to believe that sometime next week the dogwoods will be blooming. Can't wait to take a walk at the farm to see them.

Thanks for stopping by!:)

Wednesday Wisdom

1. Never say your children will not do something because they will.
2. Never think you will have children when you can "afford" it...you'll grow old without them.
3. Love them no matter what they do!

Thanks for stopping by!

Mini-Mom 1, Locksmith 0

Well, I had a very productive day yesterday! As I said before we had to have the locks re-keyed. The locksmith assured us he would be here by 1:30 on Saturday----NO SHOW! Then he promised by noon Monday----again, NO SHOW!! Well, I got really aggravated and you KNOW you don't make a mama mad so I took off all 7 locks and deadbolts, took them to the local hardware store and had it done myself saving us $100. Now, really, I'm not usually so impatient but this is not a huge town. I mean, get real, we only have one locksmith and you can't tell me that he is constantly running around opening up doors and changing locks. Oh, well.

Scott and I also took the dog for her first walk on a leash and she did really well. We walked about 2 miles and she walked/ran about a mile of it. One of us had to walk in front and she would follow and she had me jogging. Those short little legs can move. She fell asleep in my lap on the way home! Spoiled.

Alison finally made it home this morning. We have had girls at our house for the last 2 days and she stayed with a friend last night. My friends who have experienced the empty nest syndrome tell me I will be sad. I must be a bad mother but to be honest, I'm looking forward to that stage of our lives. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE my girls but we are getting a taste of it and it's not so bad! I'm just being honest! :)

Thanks for stopping by!:)

Where to begin?!

It's the first day of spring break and it's a beautiful day! The week is supposed to be great weather which means I can finally get out and wash my car without freezing my hands.

Over the weekend my daughter was staying with a friend and the apartment was broken into while they were upstairs sleeping! Luckily they are fine but they took my daughters keys and id which means we have to have our house re-keyed (been waiting two days for that to happen!) and a new key for her car. What a pain in the neck and wallet! Since the hard working jerks who stole her keys have a key to the house, we have been barricading our doors. The recliner blocking the front door, the dining room table in front of the patio doors, the dryer scooted up to block the laundry room door. Heaven help us if we have to get out quickly! I'm keeping my rolling pin handy. Bring it on thieving idiots! We are ready!!!

For my daughters 16th birthday last week a friend gave her a puppy. A long haired dachshund named Tinker Bell. Scott and I decided not to have any more inside pets as we have had dogs, cats and crabs. We were down to two cats. I know, who are the parents? We could have said no but we love animals and we are suckers for a cute face. She is doing very well with training and she is so funny to watch.

Well, time to walk the dog!
Thanks for stopping by!

A challenge is made.....

What am I thinking?! I was challenged to start a blog and ......here I am.

My blog is Mini-Mom because I'm so blooming short! My goal in life was to have children taller than myself. I have succeeded! My work as a mother is done! NOT! Just when you think you have them raised, there they are again. But I love them dearly!

I'm a typical mother who has a full time job teaching and a part time job working with students in a local public school. I'm also taking classes to further my degree which is really not fun!

My husband is a wonderful man who is very patient with me! My daughters are 21 and 16, one living about 45 minutes away and one still at home. Life couldn't be better unless we won the lotto.

Bear with my rantings and ravings. Sometimes I actually have a coherent thought. I hope to address some parenting issues that will either help someone or I can get some help from someone.

That's it for now. Thanks for stopping by! :)